Day 8
Sept 4, 2009
I got everyone out of the house this morning and settled into some serious puttering. I found it incredibly frustrating not to have TV to flip on. I longed for the mindless babble of commercials and the informative voices letting me know what was going on out there in the real world. Then I realized the television world is actually less real than the one in which I live. And there are other voices. I flipped on the radio...
yes, you read right...RADIO!!! Who knew???
First I went to an A.M. channel and was informed of basic Montana importance, like the fact that we can gamble on live horse racing. Wahoo. I listened to a couple of beer commercials and flipped around the stations. I found out we finally had Michael Jackson's Funeral. Um. Didn't he die a LONG time ago??? Is that really news?? I don't have to wonder to much about what his reception in heaven was like. I think people like Michael and Farrah get a very different reception than the Ben Lymans. Now THAT must be an amazing celebration. Maybe they had to put off Michael's funeral because all the angels are too busy welcoming Ben Home.
I kept station surfing.
Every form of Country music ever written is available on Montana radio. Not that THAT is a bad thing. I've been known to teach aerobics to Randy Travis. I got some crazy looks from the gals in my class in East Cleveland but there is not another song that works out your thighs as well as..."I got some, ocean front property in Ar-i-zo-na..."
But I was in need of distraction. Something to occupy my brain while I did brainless activity like wipe off counters, sweep floors, load dishwasher, etc.
I found a brainful on F.M...National Public Radio. The answer to braindead activity everywhere. I learned about Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and how baby rats can let go of bad memories better than adult ones can and so there is this new therapy that costs too much because it isn't as well known as bandaids yet.
I got lots of work done.
(later…same day)
When I was done cleaning I went out wandering around Billings. (when I say, “wander”, I mean in my car.) I got lost and attempted to find myself. Have you ever noticed how you can’t find yourself somewhere you are not? Luckily, I was where I looked. Eventually I found myself driving past the district school building, so I went in and picked up an application for substitute teaching. I had been chatting with Liz and Mo while I drove. Liz motivated me to get back into teaching. I drove past a few highschools and saw those precious youth milling around and just got hungry to connect with them and help the next generation.
It is fascinating to me how many new activities little boys are finding to busy themselves with without Spongebob at their beck and call…er…fingertips. Christian came home from school today and decided to try out ways to get Brinkley to smile. He got three plastic cups out of the cupboard and knelt down on the kitchen floor and put a BrinkTreat under one of the cups. Then he started moving them around, challenging Brinkley to pick which cup the treat was under.
Brinkley didn’t get it.
Christian was not deterred. He filled one of the cups with water, dropped the treat in it and challenged Brinkley to “bob for treats”. All we got out of that was a flood and some frantic wiping up of water.
Tonight the plan is to barbeque salmon burgers, make homemade ice cream, and watch the deer hanging out in our back yard…assuming the deer cooperate.
(later)
I did it. I had a dinner party for visiting friends and family. I served salmon, fuit salad, squash, taters, and watermelon smoothies. Later on we all watched an old Bob Hope and Bing Crosby movie and I made a HUGE mess making popcorn and homemade ice cream. I had a wonderful talk with my cousin who found the movie as lame as I did. The only redeeming quality was watching Doug crack up and you could hear his laughter well into the kitchen. Julie and I chatted while I cleaned up my huge mess. Everybody loved the lowfat ice cream I made with our new blender - and I only blew out the motor twice. Doug growled at me and I growled back half-heartedly.
Day 9
September 5, 2009
Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
I find it interesting that the school sent home a list of authors they want the 3rd and 4th graders to read. Among them was Stephen King but Dr. Seuss was not included.
I want to Develop a better relationship with God and Jesus Christ. Turning off the world helps.
Here are the tips I gave myself:
Developing Your Relationship with Your Savior…
· Have 20/20 vision. Take 20 minutes a day to work your bod physically and 20 minutes to workout yourself spiritually.
· Remember you aren’t developing a relationship with yiour Savior, you are remembering it. He has always known you. You are the one who has forgotten.
· Get to know yourself – who you really are Get to know the you the Savior knows. She is magnificent!!!
· Let go of fear. When you do, you can let go of other secondary emotions:
o Anger
o Frustration
o Self Pity
o Pride
· Remember that Satan knows you. See hymn number 266 "The Time is Far Spent", verse 4 – be fixed in your purpose.
Alternative Entertainment Due to Lack of Television:
Books
Plain Truth by Jody Picoult
Family History Book
Newsweek
The Outsiders
Book of Mormon Stories
Videos
Lost in Austen (PBS)
John Adams (HBO Special)
Movies
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Today I went to the waterpark with Brianne and the boys. Doug and his buddy Lee worked on the driveway and went on yet another male bonding hike. We all got together for dinner at Brianne’s choice of restaurants. It was really a wonderful Saturday. Today was likely one of the last warm days of the year where one can lie in the sun reading an incredibly yummy Jodi Piccoult novel. It is hideous to think I could have spent the day watching television.
Day 10
September 6, 2009
Brianne is leaving today. I’m taking her to BYU Idaho after linger-longer after church. I only collapsed into a sniveling mass of estrogen twice this morning. Doug dutifully held me through the worst of the two. I’m resolved to be strong and tearless but my baby girl is leaving me…which is a really self-centered way to look at it. I need to change my perspective. My daughter is verturing out on her own and learning and growing and becoming who she is meant to be.
She has never been much of a television watcher.
There are so many other places to get information from. Like Hymn books. We have such an explosion of information in our lives. Each individual sort of creates her own culture by what artistic endeavors are allowed in her life.
Like hymns.
Poetry and Music put together is the epitome of artistic work to me. However – I so admire the efforts made by those who create books and movies. But I’m learning how well you can learn from something simple like a hymn. It seems simple but the truths taught in the words and the music are the deepest of messages. Truth is simple Lies are complex.
I know I may seem like a simple, maybe even shallow person to turn from the popular movies, books and media explostion that most peiplke in our day participate in. I’ve chided myself for burying my head in the sand when It comes to politics I’ve been chastised by those whose opinion I seriously care about for not getting more involved with pol,itics. I read books about the holocaust and wonder at the idiocisty and nievite of Jewish people who lived in Hitler’s German and didn’t leave when the cooud was comping. I’ve noticed that whenever I judge others, eventually, the thing I was being judgemental about happens to me. I have read the scriptures. I know what the prophecies are. There really isn’t anywhere to go. How could one weak woman do much to make a difference.
Today I learned from the Hymn, “lord, I would Follow Thee.” Bern loved this hymn and requested that it be sung at his funeral for both the opening and closing songs. We sant it in Sacrament meeting today and I thought about the words and remembered my brother and how to me personally he did NOT live up to it really well. Then I shook myself and applied it to myself. I’m the one who needs to love her brother. Don’t I?
My thoughts went back to a lesson Dad taught me when I was about 13 years old. I had (what I thought of as) a wicked stepsister, Tina and I fought like cats and dogs. Dad was always saying “throw contenseion out the window.” It was his lame catch phrase that I’m sure he thought was incredibly clever, (as if his cleverness could solve the problems of a new mother and new chiloren in our home).
I don’t remember the talk or who the general authority was who gave it, but I remember the message. It was about trying harder in our relationships. It was about kindness to others. I sat there listening to conference and thought , “Ya!!!! Tina needs to hear this message and apply it to her life.” I must have said something outloud because Dad shook his head and said something to the effect of , “You don’t get it Lollie, what about you? Don’t you need that message too?’
Wow
That hit me like a ton of bricks. The disappointment in my Dad’s face was clear as well and cut me to the core. I realized in a 13 year old way that the only person I am responsible for is myself.
(oh look a chicken)
Have you noticed how incredibly cute baby’s toes are? They are like little rows of jelly beans. Almost edible.
(sorry, I was having and A.D.D. moment. Now back to the previous message:)
A man I had hated I found to be
A child of God like you like me
All of my enmity, God overthrew
The day that he whispered, “I love you”
This line from my Mom’s song really spoke to me today. I let go of false pride when I remember who I really am. When I remind myself that I am loved by God – I don’t need to be envious of others.
I remember being in Ben’s hospital room. John was taking care of Brinkley and the boys along with all of his kids. Ben organized us all into a concert. We sang to him and played music for him. Music seemed to be a great comfort.
I dealt with it all the best I could. I realized what a spiritual weenie I am. I was in the painful throws of grief. I couldn’t believe my brother was dying. He was so young.
He wasn’t supposed to be alive. He out-lived all medical expectations. He was so happy that we were all there. Lori said the way she got through it was: “…keep a sound mind, don’t give totally into fear and don’t give totally into hope.”
Ben couldn’t lie still. He was in so much pain. One of the hardest things I have ever done was to sit and watch my brother be in pain. To not be able to help was pure torture.
My little sister Mary and I were sitting there in Ben’s hospice room. He asked us if we could tell him if he was living or dying. He said he could see the spirit world off in the distance. He said it was about the size of a postage stamp.
Mary had her adorable baby there with her. He was so precious. It is a comfort to know that life goes on.
I wanted to take my brother’s pain.
That wasn’t my job. It was Jesus’. He did it. Thanks Jesus.
Day 11
September 7, 2009
Took my baby girl to college. Left her there. Why do they call it “empty nest”? Try more like BROKEN HEART!!!
Today was one of the most difficult days of my life. Brianne is so tangled up in the nest of my heart. Luckily, she is mine for eternity. Her big sis reminded me of that.
Day 12
September 8, 2009
I really could have used the mindless drivel of television to escape from the reality of my baby girl being gone this morning.
Aunt Lollie and baby Jake
I can't wait to be a Grandma!!!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Home Repairs
Home Repairs
I wanted to install a testimony in my kid
And so I worked for 18 years and this is what I did
I studied hard and read the books the experts said I should
I read the scriptures to him and I told him to be good
I told him he should say his prayers and talk to God each day
I taught him not to judge another by what he may say
If there was something to drill in his head then I did drill
You can’t install a testimony you only can instill.
I wanted to install a testimony in my kid
And so I worked for 18 years and this is what I did
I studied hard and read the books the experts said I should
I read the scriptures to him and I told him to be good
I told him he should say his prayers and talk to God each day
I taught him not to judge another by what he may say
If there was something to drill in his head then I did drill
You can’t install a testimony you only can instill.
List of Things I need more of in my life:
There are lots of things I need more of. Here is a list:
Holiness
Strivings within
Patience in suffering
Sorrow for sin
Faith in Savior
Sense of His care
Joy in His service
purpose in prayer
Gratitude Give me
Trust in the lord
Pride in His gory
Hope in his word
Tears for his sorrows
Pain @ his grief
Meekness in trial
Praise for relief
Purity
Trust in the Lord
Pride in His glory
Hope in His word
Fit for the Kingdom
Used, blessed and holy
More Like Jesus Christ
Holiness
Strivings within
Patience in suffering
Sorrow for sin
Faith in Savior
Sense of His care
Joy in His service
purpose in prayer
Gratitude Give me
Trust in the lord
Pride in His gory
Hope in his word
Tears for his sorrows
Pain @ his grief
Meekness in trial
Praise for relief
Purity
Trust in the Lord
Pride in His glory
Hope in His word
Fit for the Kingdom
Used, blessed and holy
More Like Jesus Christ
More of Day 7
September 3
It is fascinating to me how many new activities little boys are finding to busy themselves with without Spongebob at their beck and call…er…fingertips. Christian came home from school today and decided to try out ways to get Brinkley to smile. He got three plastic cups out of the cupboard and knelt down on the kitchen floor and put a Brink treat under one of the cups. Then he started moving them around, challenging Brinkley to pick which cup the treat was under.Brinkley didn’t get it.Christian was not deterred. He filled one of the cups with water, dropped the treat in it and challenged Brinkley to “bob for treats”. All we got out of that was a flood and some frantic wiping up of water. Tonight the plan is to barbeque salmon burgers, make homemade icecream, and watch the deer hanging out in our back yard…assuming the deer cooperate.
Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter dcon’t mind.”I find it interesting that the school sent home a list of authors they want the 3rd and 4th graders to read. Among them was Stephen King but Dr. Seuss was not included.
There are lots of things I need more of. More holiness give meStrivings withinPatience in sufferingSorrow for sinFaith in SaviorSense of His careJoy in his service purpose in prayerMore Gratitude Give meTrust in the lordPride in His goryHope in his wordTears for his sorrowsPain @ his griefMeekness in trialPraise for reliefMore Purity Give MeTrust in the LordPride in His gloryHope in His wordFit for the KingdomUsed would I be blessed and holyMore, Savior like thee.
Home RepairsI wanted to enstall a testimony in my kidAnd so I worked for 18 years and this is what I didI studied hard and read the books the experts said I shouldI read the scriptures to him and I told him to be goodI told him he should say his prayers and talk to God each dayI taught him not to judge another by what he may sayIf there was something to drill in his head then I did drillYou can’t install a testimony you only can instill.
Developing Your Relationship with Your Savior…
• Have 20/20 vision. Take 20 minutes a day to work your bod physically and 20 mionutes to workout yourself spiritually.• Remember you aren’t developing a relationship with yiour Savior, you are remembering it. He has always known you. You are the one who has forgotten.• Get to know yourself – who you really are Get to know the you the Savior knows. She is magnificent!!!• Let go of fear. When you do, you can let go of other secondary emotions:o Angero Frustrationo Self Pityo Pride• Remember that Satan knows you. In Hymn number 266 The Time is Far Spent verse 4 – Be fixed in your purpose.
Alternative Entertainment Due to Lack of Television:BooksPlain Truth by Jody PicoultFamily History BookNewsweekThe OutsidersBook of Mormon Stories
VideosLost in Austen (PBS)John Adams (HBO Special)
MoviesThe Time Traveler’s Wife
Activities
Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter dcon’t mind.”I find it interesting that the school sent home a list of authors they want the 3rd and 4th graders to read. Among them was Stephen King but Dr. Seuss was not included.
There are lots of things I need more of. More holiness give meStrivings withinPatience in sufferingSorrow for sinFaith in SaviorSense of His careJoy in his service purpose in prayerMore Gratitude Give meTrust in the lordPride in His goryHope in his wordTears for his sorrowsPain @ his griefMeekness in trialPraise for reliefMore Purity Give MeTrust in the LordPride in His gloryHope in His wordFit for the KingdomUsed would I be blessed and holyMore, Savior like thee.
Home RepairsI wanted to enstall a testimony in my kidAnd so I worked for 18 years and this is what I didI studied hard and read the books the experts said I shouldI read the scriptures to him and I told him to be goodI told him he should say his prayers and talk to God each dayI taught him not to judge another by what he may sayIf there was something to drill in his head then I did drillYou can’t install a testimony you only can instill.
Developing Your Relationship with Your Savior…
• Have 20/20 vision. Take 20 minutes a day to work your bod physically and 20 mionutes to workout yourself spiritually.• Remember you aren’t developing a relationship with yiour Savior, you are remembering it. He has always known you. You are the one who has forgotten.• Get to know yourself – who you really are Get to know the you the Savior knows. She is magnificent!!!• Let go of fear. When you do, you can let go of other secondary emotions:o Angero Frustrationo Self Pityo Pride• Remember that Satan knows you. In Hymn number 266 The Time is Far Spent verse 4 – Be fixed in your purpose.
Alternative Entertainment Due to Lack of Television:BooksPlain Truth by Jody PicoultFamily History BookNewsweekThe OutsidersBook of Mormon Stories
VideosLost in Austen (PBS)John Adams (HBO Special)
MoviesThe Time Traveler’s Wife
Activities
September 3, 2009Today I hung out with my neighbor (Brady’s Mom) and had a great chat about the challenges of marriage. Mostly I l,istened to her frustrations. Everybody I know who is married is struggling. I don’t know who isn’t.Then I went to the open house at the shool and spoke to all three of the boys’ teachers. I’m thrilled for the opportunity of education they have here. The school seems great on the surface. More so without the threats of television coming into our home. The discouraging thing to me is that no matter what I do to protect my boys, they still go to school with other children who may not be as sheltered as mine
September 4,. 2009Today I cleaned house and then went out wandering around billings. (when I say, “wander”, I mean in my car.) I got lost and attempted to find myself. Have you ever noticed how you can’t find yourself somewhere you are not? Luckily, I was where I looked. Eventually I found myself driving past the district school building so I went in and picked up an application for substitute teaching. I had been chatting with Liz and Mo while I drove. Liz motivated me to get back into teaching. I drove past a few highschools and saw those precious youth milling around and just got hungry to connect with them and help the next generation.Tonight I had a dinner party for visiting friends and family. I served salmon, fuit salad, squash, taters and watermelon smoothies. Later on we all watched an old Bob Hope and Bing Crosby movie and I made a HUGE mess making popcorn and homemade icecream. I had a wonderful talk with my cousin who found the movie as lame as I did. The only redeeming quality was watching Doug crack up and you could hear his laughter well into the kitchen. Julie and I chatted while I cleaned up my huge mess. Everybody loved the lowfat icecream I made with our new blender and I only blew out the motor twice. Doug growled at me and I growled back half-heartedly.
September 5, 2009Today I went to the waterpark with Brianne and the boys. Doug and his buddy Lee worked on the driveway and went on yet another male bonding hike. We all got together for dinner at Brianne’s choice of restaurants. It was really a wonderful Saturday. Likely one of the last warm days of the year where one can lie in the sun reading an incredibly yummy Jodi Piccoult novel. It is hideous to think I could have spent the day watching television.
September 6, 2009Lila is leaving today. I’m taking her to BYU Idaho after linger-longer after church. I only collapsed into a sniveling mass of estrogen twice this morning. Doug dutifully held me through the worst of the two. I’m resolved to be strong and tearless but my baby girl is leaving me…which is a really self-centered way to look at it. I need to change my perspective. My daughter is verturing out on her own and learning and growing and becoming who she is meant to be.We will be
There are so many other places to get information from. Like Hymn books. We have such an explotion of information in our lives. Each individual sort of creat her own culture by whaqt artistic endea vors aree allowed in her life. Like hymns. Poetry and Music put together is the epitome of artistic work to me. However – I so admire the efforts made by tghose who create books and movies. But I’m learning how well you can learn from something simple like a hymn. It seems simple but the truths taught in the words and the music are the deepest of messages. Truth is simple Lies are complex.I know I may seem like a simple, maybe even shallow person to turn from the popular movies, books and media explostion that most peiplke in our day participate in. I’ve chided myself for burying my head in the sand when It comes to politics I’ve been chastised by those whose opinion I seriously care about for not getting more involved with pol,itics. I read books about the holocaust and wonder at the idiocisty and nievite of Jewish people who lived in Hitler’s German and didn’t leave when the cooud was comping. I’ve noticed that whenever I judge others, eventually, the thing I was being judgemental about happens to me. I have read the scriptures. I know what the prophecies are. There really isn’t anywhere to go. How could one weak woman do much to make a difference.Today I learned from the Hymn, “lord, I would Follow Thee.” Bern loved this hymn and requested that it be sung at his funeral for both the opening and closing songs. We sant it in Sacrament meeting today and I thought about the words and remembered my brother and how to me personally he did NOT live up to it really well. Then I shook myself and applied it to myself. I’m the one who needs to love her brother. Don’t I. My thoughts went back to a lesson Dad taught me when I was about 13 years old. I had (what I thought of as) a wicket stepsister, Tina and I fought like cats andDad was always saying “throw contenseion out the window.” It was his lame catch prase that I’m sure he thought was incredibly clever, (as if his cleverness could solve the problems of a new mother and new chiloren in our home). I don’t remember the talk or who the general authority was who gave it, but I remember the message. It was about trying harder in our relationships. It was about kindness to others. I sat there listening to conference and thought , “Ya!!!! Tina needs to hgear this message and apply it to her life.” I must have said something outloud because Dad shook his head and said something to the effect of , “You don’t get it Lollie, what about you? Don’t you need that message too?’WowThat hit me like a ton of bricks. The disappointment in my Dad’s face was clear as well and cut me to the core. I realized in a 13 year old way that the only person I am responsible for is myself.Have you noticed how incredibly cute baby’s toes are? They are like little rows of jelly beans. Almost edible.A man I had hated I found to beA child of God like you like meAll of my enmity, God overthroughThe day that he whispered, “I love you”This line from my Mom’s song really spoke to me today. I let go of false pride when I remember who I really am. When I remind myself that I am loved by God – I don’t need to be envious of others.
I remember being in Ben’s hospital room. John was taking care of Brinkley and the boys along with all of his kids. Ben organized us all into a concert. We sang to him and played music for him. Music seemed to be a great comfort. I dealt with it all the best I could. I realized what a spiritual weenie I am. I was in the painful throws of grief. I couldn’t believe my brother was dying. He was so young.He wasn’t supposed to be alive. He out-lived all medical expectations. He was so happy that we were all there. Lori said the way she got through it was: “…keep a sound mind, don’t give totally into fear and don’t give totally into hope.”
Ben couldn’t lie still. He was in so much pain. One of the hardest things I have ever done was to sit and watch my brother be in pain. To not be able to help was pure torture. My little sister Mary and I were sitting there in Ben’s hospice room. He asked us if we could tell him if he was living or dying. He said he could see the spirit world off in the distance. He said it was about the size of a postage stamp. Mary had her adorable baby there with her. He was so precious. It is a comfort to know that life goes on.I wanted to take my brother’s pain.
There are so many other places to get information from. Like Hymn books. We have such an explotion of information in our lives. Each individual sort of creat her own culture by whaqt artistic endea vors aree allowed in her life. Like hymns. Poetry and Music put together is the epitome of artistic work to me. However – I so admire the efforts made by tghose who create books and movies. But I’m learning how well you can learn from something simple like a hymn. It seems simple but the truths taught in the words and the music are the deepest of messages. Truth is simple Lies are complex.I know I may seem like a simple, maybe even shallow person to turn from the popular movies, books and media explostion that most peiplke in our day participate in. I’ve chided myself for burying my head in the sand when It comes to politics I’ve been chastised by those whose opinion I seriously care about for not getting more involved with pol,itics. I read books about the holocaust and wonder at the idiocisty and nievite of Jewish people who lived in Hitler’s German and didn’t leave when the cooud was comping. I’ve noticed that whenever I judge others, eventually, the thing I was being judgemental about happens to me. I have read the scriptures. I know what the prophecies are. There really isn’t anywhere to go. How could one weak woman do much to make a difference.Today I learned from the Hymn, “lord, I would Follow Thee.” Bern loved this hymn and requested that it be sung at his funeral for both the opening and closing songs. We sant it in Sacrament meeting today and I thought about the words and remembered my brother and how to me personally he did NOT live up to it really well. Then I shook myself and applied it to myself. I’m the one who needs to love her brother. Don’t I. My thoughts went back to a lesson Dad taught me when I was about 13 years old. I had (what I thought of as) a wicket stepsister, Tina and I fought like cats andDad was always saying “throw contenseion out the window.” It was his lame catch prase that I’m sure he thought was incredibly clever, (as if his cleverness could solve the problems of a new mother and new chiloren in our home). I don’t remember the talk or who the general authority was who gave it, but I remember the message. It was about trying harder in our relationships. It was about kindness to others. I sat there listening to conference and thought , “Ya!!!! Tina needs to hgear this message and apply it to her life.” I must have said something outloud because Dad shook his head and said something to the effect of , “You don’t get it Lollie, what about you? Don’t you need that message too?’WowThat hit me like a ton of bricks. The disappointment in my Dad’s face was clear as well and cut me to the core. I realized in a 13 year old way that the only person I am responsible for is myself.Have you noticed how incredibly cute baby’s toes are? They are like little rows of jelly beans. Almost edible.A man I had hated I found to beA child of God like you like meAll of my enmity, God overthroughThe day that he whispered, “I love you”This line from my Mom’s song really spoke to me today. I let go of false pride when I remember who I really am. When I remind myself that I am loved by God – I don’t need to be envious of others.
I remember being in Ben’s hospital room. John was taking care of Brinkley and the boys along with all of his kids. Ben organized us all into a concert. We sang to him and played music for him. Music seemed to be a great comfort. I dealt with it all the best I could. I realized what a spiritual weenie I am. I was in the painful throws of grief. I couldn’t believe my brother was dying. He was so young.He wasn’t supposed to be alive. He out-lived all medical expectations. He was so happy that we were all there. Lori said the way she got through it was: “…keep a sound mind, don’t give totally into fear and don’t give totally into hope.”
Ben couldn’t lie still. He was in so much pain. One of the hardest things I have ever done was to sit and watch my brother be in pain. To not be able to help was pure torture. My little sister Mary and I were sitting there in Ben’s hospice room. He asked us if we could tell him if he was living or dying. He said he could see the spirit world off in the distance. He said it was about the size of a postage stamp. Mary had her adorable baby there with her. He was so precious. It is a comfort to know that life goes on.I wanted to take my brother’s pain.
Friday, September 4, 2009
A Year of Living Cableless Day 7 and 8
Day 5
Sept 3, 2009
I'm doing everything in my power to inspire them to become readers. Not having cable tv has done wonders for their motivation to be entertained in other ways. I look forward to reading to them every night. We are six chapters into Book of Mormon Stories. We read one chapter of that and one of The Outsiders every night after toothbrushing, prayers and jammies. Christian fancies himself Ponyboy...thoughtful and blond when he would rather not be. Joseph has no problem being tuff Sodapop while Douglas fills the football playing, hard working, tough as nails, big brother Darry type. It is amazing to be reading these two books and contrast the difference in the relationships between brothers who love each other and treat each other with respect and kindness. The irony is that the Book of Mormon Stories is where we read about the bad boy brothers and the contemporary fiction novel is where we read about brothers who stick together no matter what. Yet it is in the pages of the Book of Mormon that the subtle AND obvious lessons are taught and the messages are given through the launguage of scripture. It is interesting to me how much the boys look forward to reading The Outsiders. I think perhaps part of being on the Autism Spectrum makes stories that explain culture fascinating to them.
Day 6
Sept 4, 2009
I got everyone out of the house this morning and settled into some serious puttering. I found it incredibly frustrating not to have TV to flip on. I longed for the mindless babble of commercials and the informative voices letting me know what was going on out there in the real world. Then I realized the television world is actually less real than the one in which I live. And there are other voices. I flipped on the radio...
yes, you read right...RADIO!!! Who knew???
First I went to an A.M. channel and was informed of basic Montana importance, like the fact that we can gamble on live horse racing. Wahoo. I listened to a couple of beer commercials and flipped around the stations. I found out we finally had Michael Jackson's Funeral. Um. Didn't he die a LONG time ago??? Is that really news?? I don't have to wonder to much about what his reception in heaven was like. I think people like Michael and Farrah get a very different reception than the Ben Lymans. Now THAT must be an amazing celebration. Maybe they had to put off Michael's funeral because all the angels are too busy welcoming Ben Home.
I kept station surfing.
Every form of Country music ever written is available on Montana radio. Not that THAT is a bad thing. I've been known to teach aerobics to Randy Travis. I got some crazy looks from the gals in my class in East Cleveland but there is not another song that works out your thighs as well as...I got some, ocean front property in Ar-i-zo-na...
But I was in need of distraction. Something to occupy my brain while I did brainless activity like wipe off counters, sweep floors, load dishwasher, etc.
I found a brainful on F.M...National Public Radio. The answer to braindead activity everywhere. I learned about Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and how baby rats can let go of bad memories better than adult ones can and so there is this new therapy that costs too much because it isn't as well known as bandaids yet.
I got lots of work done.
Sept 3, 2009
I'm doing everything in my power to inspire them to become readers. Not having cable tv has done wonders for their motivation to be entertained in other ways. I look forward to reading to them every night. We are six chapters into Book of Mormon Stories. We read one chapter of that and one of The Outsiders every night after toothbrushing, prayers and jammies. Christian fancies himself Ponyboy...thoughtful and blond when he would rather not be. Joseph has no problem being tuff Sodapop while Douglas fills the football playing, hard working, tough as nails, big brother Darry type. It is amazing to be reading these two books and contrast the difference in the relationships between brothers who love each other and treat each other with respect and kindness. The irony is that the Book of Mormon Stories is where we read about the bad boy brothers and the contemporary fiction novel is where we read about brothers who stick together no matter what. Yet it is in the pages of the Book of Mormon that the subtle AND obvious lessons are taught and the messages are given through the launguage of scripture. It is interesting to me how much the boys look forward to reading The Outsiders. I think perhaps part of being on the Autism Spectrum makes stories that explain culture fascinating to them.
Day 6
Sept 4, 2009
I got everyone out of the house this morning and settled into some serious puttering. I found it incredibly frustrating not to have TV to flip on. I longed for the mindless babble of commercials and the informative voices letting me know what was going on out there in the real world. Then I realized the television world is actually less real than the one in which I live. And there are other voices. I flipped on the radio...
yes, you read right...RADIO!!! Who knew???
First I went to an A.M. channel and was informed of basic Montana importance, like the fact that we can gamble on live horse racing. Wahoo. I listened to a couple of beer commercials and flipped around the stations. I found out we finally had Michael Jackson's Funeral. Um. Didn't he die a LONG time ago??? Is that really news?? I don't have to wonder to much about what his reception in heaven was like. I think people like Michael and Farrah get a very different reception than the Ben Lymans. Now THAT must be an amazing celebration. Maybe they had to put off Michael's funeral because all the angels are too busy welcoming Ben Home.
I kept station surfing.
Every form of Country music ever written is available on Montana radio. Not that THAT is a bad thing. I've been known to teach aerobics to Randy Travis. I got some crazy looks from the gals in my class in East Cleveland but there is not another song that works out your thighs as well as...I got some, ocean front property in Ar-i-zo-na...
But I was in need of distraction. Something to occupy my brain while I did brainless activity like wipe off counters, sweep floors, load dishwasher, etc.
I found a brainful on F.M...National Public Radio. The answer to braindead activity everywhere. I learned about Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and how baby rats can let go of bad memories better than adult ones can and so there is this new therapy that costs too much because it isn't as well known as bandaids yet.
I got lots of work done.
A Year of Living Cableless Day 5 and 6
Day 5
Sept 3, 2009
I'm doing everything in my power to inspire them to become readers. Not having cable tv has done wonders for their motivation to be entertained in other ways. I look forward to reading to them every night. We are six chapters into Book of Mormon Stories. We read one chapter of that and one of The Outsiders every night after toothbrushing, prayers and jammies. Christian fancies himself Ponyboy...thoughtful and blond when he would rather not be. Joseph has no problem being tuff Sodapop while Douglas fills the football playing, hard working, tough as nails, big brother Darry type. It is amazing to be reading these two books and contrast the difference in the relationships between brothers who love each other and treat each other with respect and kindness. The irony is that the Book of Mormon Stories is where we read about the bad boy brothers and the contemporary fiction novel is where we read about brothers who stick together no matter what. Yet it is in the pages of the Book of Mormon that the subtle AND obvious lessons are taught and the messages are given through the launguage of scripture. It is interesting to me how much the boys look forward to reading The Outsiders. I think perhaps part of being on the Autism Spectrum makes stories that explain culture fascinating to them.
Day 6
Sept 4, 2009
I got everyone out of the house this morning and settled into some serious puttering. I found it incredibly frustrating not to have TV to flip on. I longed for the mindless babble of commercials and the informative voices letting me know what was going on out there in the real world. Then I realized the television world is actually less real than the one in which I live. And there are other voices. I flipped on the radio...
yes, you read right...RADIO!!! Who knew???
First I went to an A.M. channel and was informed of basic Montana importance, like the fact that we can gamble on live horse racing. Wahoo. I listened to a couple of beer commercials and flipped around the stations. I found out we finally had Michael Jackson's Funeral. Um. Didn't he die a LONG time ago??? Is that really news?? I don't have to wonder to much about what his reception in heaven was like. I think people like Michael and Farrah get a very different reception than the Ben Lymans. Now THAT must be an amazing celebration. Maybe they had to put off Michael's funeral because all the angels are too busy welcoming Ben Home.
I kept station surfing.
Every form of Country music ever written is available on Montana radio. Not that THAT is a bad thing. I've been known to teach aerobics to Randy Travis. I got some crazy looks from the gals in my class in East Cleveland but there is not another song that works out your thighs as well as...I got some, ocean front property in Ar-i-zo-na...
But I was in need of distraction. Something to occupy my brain while I did brainless activity like wipe off counters, sweep floors, load dishwasher, etc.
I found a brainful on F.M...National Public Radio. The answer to braindead activity everywhere. I learned about Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and how baby rats can let go of bad memories better than adult ones can and so there is this new therapy that costs too much because it isn't as well known as bandaids yet.
I got lots of work done.
Sept 3, 2009
I'm doing everything in my power to inspire them to become readers. Not having cable tv has done wonders for their motivation to be entertained in other ways. I look forward to reading to them every night. We are six chapters into Book of Mormon Stories. We read one chapter of that and one of The Outsiders every night after toothbrushing, prayers and jammies. Christian fancies himself Ponyboy...thoughtful and blond when he would rather not be. Joseph has no problem being tuff Sodapop while Douglas fills the football playing, hard working, tough as nails, big brother Darry type. It is amazing to be reading these two books and contrast the difference in the relationships between brothers who love each other and treat each other with respect and kindness. The irony is that the Book of Mormon Stories is where we read about the bad boy brothers and the contemporary fiction novel is where we read about brothers who stick together no matter what. Yet it is in the pages of the Book of Mormon that the subtle AND obvious lessons are taught and the messages are given through the launguage of scripture. It is interesting to me how much the boys look forward to reading The Outsiders. I think perhaps part of being on the Autism Spectrum makes stories that explain culture fascinating to them.
Day 6
Sept 4, 2009
I got everyone out of the house this morning and settled into some serious puttering. I found it incredibly frustrating not to have TV to flip on. I longed for the mindless babble of commercials and the informative voices letting me know what was going on out there in the real world. Then I realized the television world is actually less real than the one in which I live. And there are other voices. I flipped on the radio...
yes, you read right...RADIO!!! Who knew???
First I went to an A.M. channel and was informed of basic Montana importance, like the fact that we can gamble on live horse racing. Wahoo. I listened to a couple of beer commercials and flipped around the stations. I found out we finally had Michael Jackson's Funeral. Um. Didn't he die a LONG time ago??? Is that really news?? I don't have to wonder to much about what his reception in heaven was like. I think people like Michael and Farrah get a very different reception than the Ben Lymans. Now THAT must be an amazing celebration. Maybe they had to put off Michael's funeral because all the angels are too busy welcoming Ben Home.
I kept station surfing.
Every form of Country music ever written is available on Montana radio. Not that THAT is a bad thing. I've been known to teach aerobics to Randy Travis. I got some crazy looks from the gals in my class in East Cleveland but there is not another song that works out your thighs as well as...I got some, ocean front property in Ar-i-zo-na...
But I was in need of distraction. Something to occupy my brain while I did brainless activity like wipe off counters, sweep floors, load dishwasher, etc.
I found a brainful on F.M...National Public Radio. The answer to braindead activity everywhere. I learned about Post Tramatic Stress Disorder and how baby rats can let go of bad memories better than adult ones can and so there is this new therapy that costs too much because it isn't as well known as bandaids yet.
I got lots of work done.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
A Year of Living Cableless
Day 3
August 30, 2009
I really wrote this on the above date. I wrote it the old fashion way. There is this thing called a pen and this stuff called paper. It is way cool stuff.
My cell phone went off in the middle of Sacrament Meeting today,. Ya. Awkward. Tamera said she wasn’t sure whose phone it was until she saw my face. I am a Delta Rabbit through and through. I even glow school colors when I get embarrassed.
There is a reason I need less technology in my life. I’m amazed at the variety of technology use and lack thereof in my circle of friends and family. One friend has never had cable tv, and another couldn’t begin to imagine life without it or why I would want to try it.
I’ve had friends tell me that I am throwing out the baby with the bath by giving up television. It just doesn’t seem like there is much baby left in the murky bathwater these days. I do miss the home improvement programs and the before and after how to clean your house. This morning – instead of flipping on the tube, (typically, in our previous cabled state, I would have BYU Television’s voices of wisdom wafting through the place on Sunday mornings), I flipped open a book. It was The Freedom Writers. I read more than half of it before I heard the call of the wild. (Three frantically hungry little boys).
These young people living in the warzone of LA’s ghettos spoke of the emptiness of their lives. The abuse and neglect, racism and hopelessness was disheartening to say the least. Education, particularly English literature – is what opens their eyes to their own power. They identify with Anne Frank’s struggle. They see themselves within the pages of The Color Purple. Because of the strength in the stories, the youth of a classroom of rejects are empowered.
I saw a teenaged couple in the store yesterday. The boy was jokingly cuffing the girl. She was giggling at his “play”. It made me angry.
It also made me want to do more to serve the youth. I wanted to tell that girl not to put up with that kind of treatment. I wanted to tell the boy that his greatness is not proved by his show of power over someone with less physical strength than he.
I wonder if anyone ever told either of them that they are God’s children.
My adorable neighbor came over again this morning. Her name is Brady. That isn’t her real name but of course I must protect the incredible adorability of neighborly five-year-olds. She frolicked on the trampoline with the boys and joined in their animated book of Mormon video.
She is so adorable.
Would I think that is she interrupted a television program I was engrossed in?
Day 4
August 31, 2009
Things that kept me from blogging yesterday and today:
· Hosting visiting friends and family.
· Brianne took my keys with her to work at Famous Footwear across town
· After I got home from drivin across town to get my car keys, (took my visiting cousin’s car), I realized Brianne had my laptop in her car.
· I took Christian to the ER because he whacked off the top of his thumb in his third grade classroom today…with a pair of SAFETY SCISSORS no less!!
· Unable to get to the coffee shop
· Internet down at the coffee shop once I finally made it there through the demands of husband, children, construction and traffic.
I’ve made a new rule for myself in connection with my self-imposed blog. I will NOT get caught up in a pattern of self-loathing if I am unable to blog daily. As long as I actually write something about doing without cable, I’m still filling my quota of blogginess.
Day 5
September 1, 2009
This morning Christian said his favorite breakfast was pancakes and weapons. (What can I say? We have interesting breakfasts at our house.) I told him if he was Typhoid Mary pancakes WERE weapons. Doug piped in that Typhoid Mary made pancakes for “Lutenel” and I think he was warming up to sing a rousing rendition of Bloody Mary is the Girl I Love. I found myself explaining the difference between “Bloody” and “Typhoid” Maries.
· Typhoid M was a woman at the turn of the last century who worked as a cook and spread disease inadvertently. When told she had to quit working as a cook she ignored the authorities because of her lack of education and understanding and eventually was imprisoned.
· Bloody M was a character in South Pacific who wanted the white Lieutenant to be seduced by her Polynesian daughter.
Then I realized I knew who Typhoid Mary was because of the history channel. Chalk one up for throwing out the baby with the bath!
I guess my quest is to figure out how to get the most out of media without putting up with the garbage.
(later)
Since my cousin is in town I had a partner in crime and movie viewing. We went and saw The Time Traveler’s Wife. I have to wonder if the idea for the book, (which I read years ago), came from a doctor’s wife. He disappears at the drop of a hat too and isn’t there for big events occasionally. I can’t complain too much though. At least Doug has a specialty that is easy on families.
I know. Movie viewing is just another form of brain dead entertainment that you pay for a movie at a time instead of monthly like cable television. The point of my experiment in cablelessness is not to avoid ALL braindead activity but to enhance my life with the good stuff.
It was a good movie. Made me appreciate my hunny.
Day 6
September 2, 2009
Sunday morning I listened to a Truman Madsen tape about the life of Joseph Smith. Truman said that in 15 years of marriage Emma moved 12 times. Lucky Em. Moving would be easier if I retained the same bad habits of the past. Like television.
Doing hard things builds integrity. Man is it hard to move.
August 30, 2009
I really wrote this on the above date. I wrote it the old fashion way. There is this thing called a pen and this stuff called paper. It is way cool stuff.
My cell phone went off in the middle of Sacrament Meeting today,. Ya. Awkward. Tamera said she wasn’t sure whose phone it was until she saw my face. I am a Delta Rabbit through and through. I even glow school colors when I get embarrassed.
There is a reason I need less technology in my life. I’m amazed at the variety of technology use and lack thereof in my circle of friends and family. One friend has never had cable tv, and another couldn’t begin to imagine life without it or why I would want to try it.
I’ve had friends tell me that I am throwing out the baby with the bath by giving up television. It just doesn’t seem like there is much baby left in the murky bathwater these days. I do miss the home improvement programs and the before and after how to clean your house. This morning – instead of flipping on the tube, (typically, in our previous cabled state, I would have BYU Television’s voices of wisdom wafting through the place on Sunday mornings), I flipped open a book. It was The Freedom Writers. I read more than half of it before I heard the call of the wild. (Three frantically hungry little boys).
These young people living in the warzone of LA’s ghettos spoke of the emptiness of their lives. The abuse and neglect, racism and hopelessness was disheartening to say the least. Education, particularly English literature – is what opens their eyes to their own power. They identify with Anne Frank’s struggle. They see themselves within the pages of The Color Purple. Because of the strength in the stories, the youth of a classroom of rejects are empowered.
I saw a teenaged couple in the store yesterday. The boy was jokingly cuffing the girl. She was giggling at his “play”. It made me angry.
It also made me want to do more to serve the youth. I wanted to tell that girl not to put up with that kind of treatment. I wanted to tell the boy that his greatness is not proved by his show of power over someone with less physical strength than he.
I wonder if anyone ever told either of them that they are God’s children.
My adorable neighbor came over again this morning. Her name is Brady. That isn’t her real name but of course I must protect the incredible adorability of neighborly five-year-olds. She frolicked on the trampoline with the boys and joined in their animated book of Mormon video.
She is so adorable.
Would I think that is she interrupted a television program I was engrossed in?
Day 4
August 31, 2009
Things that kept me from blogging yesterday and today:
· Hosting visiting friends and family.
· Brianne took my keys with her to work at Famous Footwear across town
· After I got home from drivin across town to get my car keys, (took my visiting cousin’s car), I realized Brianne had my laptop in her car.
· I took Christian to the ER because he whacked off the top of his thumb in his third grade classroom today…with a pair of SAFETY SCISSORS no less!!
· Unable to get to the coffee shop
· Internet down at the coffee shop once I finally made it there through the demands of husband, children, construction and traffic.
I’ve made a new rule for myself in connection with my self-imposed blog. I will NOT get caught up in a pattern of self-loathing if I am unable to blog daily. As long as I actually write something about doing without cable, I’m still filling my quota of blogginess.
Day 5
September 1, 2009
This morning Christian said his favorite breakfast was pancakes and weapons. (What can I say? We have interesting breakfasts at our house.) I told him if he was Typhoid Mary pancakes WERE weapons. Doug piped in that Typhoid Mary made pancakes for “Lutenel” and I think he was warming up to sing a rousing rendition of Bloody Mary is the Girl I Love. I found myself explaining the difference between “Bloody” and “Typhoid” Maries.
· Typhoid M was a woman at the turn of the last century who worked as a cook and spread disease inadvertently. When told she had to quit working as a cook she ignored the authorities because of her lack of education and understanding and eventually was imprisoned.
· Bloody M was a character in South Pacific who wanted the white Lieutenant to be seduced by her Polynesian daughter.
Then I realized I knew who Typhoid Mary was because of the history channel. Chalk one up for throwing out the baby with the bath!
I guess my quest is to figure out how to get the most out of media without putting up with the garbage.
(later)
Since my cousin is in town I had a partner in crime and movie viewing. We went and saw The Time Traveler’s Wife. I have to wonder if the idea for the book, (which I read years ago), came from a doctor’s wife. He disappears at the drop of a hat too and isn’t there for big events occasionally. I can’t complain too much though. At least Doug has a specialty that is easy on families.
I know. Movie viewing is just another form of brain dead entertainment that you pay for a movie at a time instead of monthly like cable television. The point of my experiment in cablelessness is not to avoid ALL braindead activity but to enhance my life with the good stuff.
It was a good movie. Made me appreciate my hunny.
Day 6
September 2, 2009
Sunday morning I listened to a Truman Madsen tape about the life of Joseph Smith. Truman said that in 15 years of marriage Emma moved 12 times. Lucky Em. Moving would be easier if I retained the same bad habits of the past. Like television.
Doing hard things builds integrity. Man is it hard to move.
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