Brianne, Brinkley and Ben

Day 2August 29, 2009
Brianne, Brinkley and Ben

Today my job is to keep three little boys out of their dad’s hair while he re-covers our driveway. When Doug made this request, I eagerly accepted. I admit. It has been nice having them around all summer. I’ve actually missed them a little this first week of school. I’ve got a whole lot more done, my house is cleaner, but you get used to having the little munchkins underfoot. But I do have Brinkley to keep me company. He is our sixteen month old king Charles cavalier spaniel. He is adorable. He also feeds my ego in a way that is virtually impossible for any human. Even the really adorable tiny toddler variety, (of which there are none currently at my house).Yesterday Brinkley took a tiddley wonder across the fresh tar and blackened his wee paws along with my kitchen floor. While I was holding Brink on my lap, paws up and Doug was cleaning off the little black paws, Brianne opened the refrigerator and was digging around in the vain attempt to make a sandwich. She somehow knocked out a HUGE bottle of soysauce. Yes. It busted wide open and proceded to splatter all over my freshly mopped floors. Brianne announced she was late for work and promptly fled. It took Doug and I almost an hour to get it off the floor, walls, fridge, chairs and freshly cleaned puppy. I share this story simply to illustrate the fragile nature of my job as stay-at-home mom. Things seem to be going swimmingly when all heck breaks loose. It is an advantage to have the attention deficit thing going for me as dull moments are few and far between with this crowd. After bearing seven amazing children, I’m feeling the early pangs of empty nest syndrome with the fourth about to fly the coop and only three left at home.Brianne’s days are numbered. She leaves in a week. I have one week left of having this girl with me full-time. I know how it works. Once they leave they rarely come back. I know. I’ve been told that eventually they will return, but that is yet to be the case with my younguns. Brianne has never had the television addiction the boys and I share. She is mostly lured by the Home and Garden channel or anything about interior design. She spends lots of time at the piano. Right now she is playing Bring Him Home from Le Mis. Ben’s son sang it at his funeral. Every time I hear it now, I know I will think of Ben. I hear the words in my head and think of Ben and the Savior. I picture Jesus, standing as Ben’s advocate with the Father, requesting that he be allowed to come Home. When the words echo through my brain, “If I die, let me die, let him live…” tears come to my eyes.
Not that Jesus had to make up for much with my big brother. I never remember Ben watching television. I'm sure he viewed it as a colossal waste of time. Maybe that is partly why he only had to be on earth for 53 years. At the rate I'm going, I'll live to be 157 with all I need to make up for in hours wasted on silly screen activity!
Not having cable television means that last night we watched a movie together as a family and when it was over we actually turned it off, had family prayer and went to bed. Nobody grabbed the remote and began flipping around the channels. There was no desparate need to watch this episode of Jonas or Hannah Montana “‘cause we haven’t seen this one MOM!!!”There is no angrily turning it off and forcing them to bed. There is no insisting on each child spending time on piano practice, reading and doing chores before television. This isn’t the first time our family has gone without cable television. Quite honestly, I think we have not had it more in the history of our marriage than we have. We once sold our television for sixhundred dollars worth of education materials. As I look around, I realize we have enough books and books on tape and cd to last for the rest of my lifetime. If I actually read every classic work in Doug’s collection, I would be the most well-read person I know. I’ve only read about ten percent of them. I know. It’s embarrassing. Not as embarrassing as Julie Powel’s chapter about maggots multiplying in her kitchen. Not to worry, there are nitty gritties I refuse to reveal and no amount of fame or fortune could induce me otherwise.
(later)
I got at least half as much done today as I needed to. But I didn’t slow down. Until now. Brianne needed my help with her final personal project project. She decided to make a quilt for her dorm room. Keeping the boys out of Doug’s way proved taxing. But here I am. I collapsed in a heap of tears while I was helping Brianne. It hit me like a steamroller that she is leaving soon. Just as I was finishing my crying jag our adorable little 5 year old neighbor walked in and gave me a big hug and consented to letting me fix her hair. Who needs television? I have an adorable 5 year old neighbor who walks in unannounced and spontaneously hugs me!!!